This is the time of year that I ALWAYS find myself saying the very same thing...year after year ... "HOLY COW...is it REALLY almost Christmas" ... Funny thing is we ALL know it is coming...6 months earlier, heck...on December 26th we know it will be here again...yet that little detail seems to slip our minds until almost sitting in it's lap!!! I know I am not alone in this feeling....and no matter how hard you dig those heels in to slow the natural progression of time...still it arrives at your doorstep like a very loud, gaudy and over bearing great aunt come for a visit!!! Don't get me wrong, I love the holidays...after all, they were designed to delight all of our senses...right??? Glorious foods (that we somehow now have permission to eat) , colors and sounds,Flashing twinkling lights filling every window in your neighborhood ( ferreting out the suspected curmudgeons who refuse to partake in the glitz...)...and the children!! The glorious children...whose eyes grow twice their size with the thrill of it all.... that right there is worth the whole price of the Holiday Ticket! It is that one moment of 'wonderment' that if you look very closely you can actually see all the generations of Christmas Past...even your own! Wonderful memories full of fun and pure excitement...no matter the geographic location or the moment in time...a kid, is a kid is a kid...and for that I am grateful.....gives me hope that purity of heart and soul is lodged somewhere deep in our foundations and we will carry it with us into adulthood, drawing from it when most needed.
A funny thing also happens for me this time each year (at least for me personally) ....I plan, retool and re sculpt my direction in life...calling it my Holiday 'Gift to Myself' ...
Now I don't know if it is the lights, the music, the food, or just the thought itself of this ending year celebration ...but instead of sugarplums dancing in my head, or snowmen singing to me or a fat dude squeezing down my chimney...my thoughts wander to change!! (and not the loose stuff in your pocket kinda change) ..but rather the pathway or course kinda change. For me it is almost as if the lights, smells and sounds trigger a metamorphosis ... and I look at this as a very cool thing indeed. I plan, make notes, jot down things about myself that I like ..and don't like..(.DAMN, that list is growing) ... and then treat myself to the option of accepting or rejecting the change. After long talks with myself (I think I told you in past post that I do like to have conversation with myself, often times not listening to a word I am saying)...I digress!!...I decide what avenue to take and at what pace to travel. Over the years this has worked well for me...but this year it seems I am even more determined to 'change' ...not just me myself and I kinda change but an overall view of things kinda change...I feel the need to 'complete things' this coming year, leaving not a single thing dangling! To reach out my hand further than ever before with the offering of help and kindness ...artistically I would like to step into a realm of change, although i know realistically at my age and long time firmly planted feet may not allow this...so I plan to accept fully the circle I have drawn for myself....and be content with the graceful curves that always lead me back home.....I guess that is the true going 'full circle'...hee hee!
So bottom line, Christmas is many things to many people... to me, it is not always the gift you give others, but that special 'gift' you give yourself... and in turn...give others...Full Circle!!
Merry Bright Holidays to All